Think about a time when you grabbed life by your bare hands and decided to run with the truth, instead of the lies you’ve been told.
I am waiting…
Maybe you can think of a time or maybe it hasn’t happened yet. For me that time was when I changed the way I saw myself through other people’s eyes and started loving myself for who I truly am. For me this was the first step to a healthy lifestyle. Being over weight has never been easy but as a child, it can be a lot more painful than many would believe. I remember going to a restaurant with my parents and the waitress questioning my age as if I wasn’t there and couldn’t possibly order from the kid’s menu. That memory still lingers in my head. I was only eight but weighed enough to fit into a size 16 in women’s clothing. Now that does a lot to your self esteem seeing the way adults view you at such a young age.
I didn’t notice I was over weight or according to the doctor obese. I was just a girl who loved playing with my friends at school and enjoyed spending time with my small but awesome family. My reality though was completely different I was obese and not just because some doctor told me but because for the first time I saw myself through there eyes.
Here’s how it happened. Flash forward to fourth grade. My class was going on a field trip to the Springs Preservation and I couldn’t be more excited. I made sure my parents signed the permission slip. I had my lunch packed and was ready to go. I got to sit next to my best friend Kalani on the bus. I thought of all the amazing fossils we’d see and how fun it was to be going on an adventure. We arrived and I was having the time of my life, until we had to go to a presentation. This is were reality hit me. We got to sit on computer chairs, you know the one’s you can adjust higher, lower or to the right level perfect for spinning.
Well if you had a best friend you guys sat next to each other or in the same chair just to show everyone you are close. Now this is where it all changed for me. Kalani asked me to sit with her and I immediately jumped up to show all the kids in my class we were the best-est of friends. That was a big mistake. When I got on the chair I nearly squished her not only that, but she had adjusted the chair to highest level and as soon a I sat down, it dropped down to the lowest level as fast as a roller coaster and made a loud BANG! Kalani fall off the chair and all the kids looked, even the presenter stopped the presentation. I was mortified, but it got worse, my best friend looked at me and said “I DON’T WANT TO SIT WITH YOU, YOU’RE TOO FAT!” Then all the kids in my class started laughing and teasing me. I balled my eyes out that day because for the first time I saw myself through there eyes.
I tried to act like it didn’t effect me but it lead to some severe emotional scares. Those scares lead me into a series of insecurities and abuse I put myself through. I ate more and was angry inside. I didn’t love my self for who I was. This went on for five years until one miraculous day I had a heart to heart with JESUS. I laid it all on the table. I didn’t want to be like this anymore I want to change for myself. I prayed for the strength and the will power to change and boy did that happen. This was the summer right before I started high school. I worked out every night and encouraged myself. I looked in the mirror and told myself I was beautiful and I love who I am. I blocked out all negative comments and kept working hard.
By time I got to high school I was in the best shape I had ever been physically and mentally. I lost a lot of weight to the point that people who use to tease me came up to me and gave me compliments. I would tell myself that I didn’t do it for them. I did this for me and for the first time as I passed the glass on the school auditorium, I saw myself through my eyes.
I would never forget those experiences because they made me who I am today. I now lead a healthy lifestyle and all it took was that first step. It may have been hard and honestly there are some days when you don’t want to push through. I just want you to remember that once you take that first step and choose mind over matter you will be UNSTOPPABLE!